Why I Do This Work

Update

It's been more than a few months since I've written anything.  Part of this is that I've been busy and another part is that I haven't fully given myself time to process a lot of what has happened in the past year, let alone the past few months.  But I know that these experiences are just a part of the journey of life.  And, my journey has surely been interesting!

Catie, Emily, and me at one of our retreats.

Since I last posted, Emily and Catie (my roomies from last year) have moved on to New York City and Memphis with the end of our YAV year, I've led more than a handful of delegations, visited Mexico City and Queretero to see my uncle and my friend Anna, and moved into an apartment with my partner, Mike.  And I've stayed on at BorderLinks as a program organizer while also in charge of the website, facebook page, and various other tasks.  And those are just the basics! 

Even though my year as a YAV is over, I still intend to use this blog to share my thoughts and experiences in the borderlands.  There is something so unique and special about this place.  I thought a good place to start was this piece that I wrote for an upcoming BorderLinks newsletter:

Why I Do This Work 

One look at the wall, from Palominas, Arizona.

I came to Tucson during an interesting time, a time of increased deaths in the desert from dehydration, the economic crisis, immigration-focused legislation, a heightened focus on drug cartels and violence in Mexico, a rancher found dead near the border, the swine flu, Arizona boycotts, ICE raids in predominantly Latino communities, increased border militarization, protests and rallies. Fresh out of college, I was, in many ways, unprepared for the intensity, divisiveness, and complexities of living and working in the border region.

Participants at Grupo Beta, talking with migrants.

It was a shock to my system the first time that I sat in the wooden benches at Operation Streamline and watched as 70 men and women were processed through the court in a matter of hours, as I listened to the stories of deported men at Grupo Beta who were separated from their families, as I walked through the desert and picked up the hundreds of belongings left behind.  There are often no words to describe those encounters, no way to fully convey the experience.

There are some days that I wish I could go back to my time before Tucson, to a time when I wasn’t aware of the amount of money spent on the militarization of the border, to a time when hearing about a shooting in Nogales does not cause me to worry about friends and coworkers there, to a time when the interdependence of the world does not stare me straight in the face everyday.  I’d like to run away from this because I’ve learned that there is some degree of pain involved in giving up old ways of knowing and being.  There is pain in learning about and experiencing how embedded we are in the systems, institutions, and relationships of this world.  It is painful because it reveals my role in what is happening on the border and throughout the world.

Some of the kids at HEPAC, the community center in Nogales.

But I wouldn’t give up this experience.  Each day I am challenged anew to open my eyes, my ears, my mind, and my heart to the complexities and beauty of living on the border.  I’ve stood arm in arm with Isabel Garcia, an immigrant rights activist, at a protest against Arizona’s legislation.  I’ve shared laughter, tears, and stories over homemade tamales.  I’ve listened to the haunting beauty of a migrant’s flute at a shelter.  I’ve sung out prayers and hopes at vigils to honor those we’ve lost in the desert.  I’ve worn myself out pushing kids on the merry-go-round, just to be commanded to jump on so that they can push me.

I’ve learned the power of a hug, a laugh, a handshake, a smile.  I’ve learned about global political economics, sustainable food, and the roots of migration.  I’ve learned that some of the deepest wisdom can come from some of the most unexpected sources.  I’ve learned how to use my voice, and maybe more importantly, how to deeply listen.

And it is because of all of that and more that I work at BorderLinks. Now, more than ever, there is a need to empower and support an education of the head and the heart, to create a society that is capable of critical thinking as well as critical feeling--from the side of inclusiveness and love. BorderLinks programs are important for the power that they have to remind us of our common humanity and our common responsibilities to each other; to remind us that we still have a lot to learn in and from this world.

Busy...I'm So Busy...My Head is Spinnin'

Like a Whirlpool, It Never Ends

Per usual, it is time for my monthly update.  This past month has contained a whirlwind of activity and adventures.  I spent a wonderful week in Pittsburgh, visiting with family and friends and sharing stories about my time down here in Tucson.  In addition to speaking at Duquesne Presbyterian Church, I led a Waverly on Tap Discussion about SB1070, a workshop about the YAV program and BorderLinks at my church retreat, and an Adult Sunday School at John McMillan Presbyterian Church that focused on my work as a YAV at BorderLinks and about SB1070.  It felt good to be able to share my knowledge and passion with people all the way over on the other side of the country.  As well, there is similar legislation to SB1070 looking to be passed throughout the country, so I benefited from the conversations with people involved in this opposition.

When I returned to Tucson, I jumped right back into my delegation with a group from the University of Michigan GIEU (Global Intercultural Experiences for Undergraduates) Program.  This was a wonderful group of students who were down here for a month and who took part in our educational programs as well as service opportunities in the local Tucson community.  They wrote a wonderful blog about their journey with us and created a site that documents their time with students at Cesar Chavez High School in South Tucson.

We also celebrated Pentecost Sunday, my favorite day of the year.  There is just something about the Holy Spirit that speaks to me.  I had the opportunity to be the liturgist and to give a brief sermon at St. John on the Desert Presbyterian Church in Tucson.  I spoke about the power of the Holy Spirit when it came to the disciples long ago.  The Spirit enabled them to speak in tongues, to communicate and talk with people who were different than them.  My hope was (and is) that the Spirit can come to us in these turbulent times and allow us the grace and wisdom to speak openly and honestly with people that think differently than us, with those who might disagree with us, whether about immigration, health care, war, or politics.

I also led a wonderful delegation from Sinclair Community College in Dayton, Ohio.  I was so impressed by the enthusiasm, energy, and questions that the group brought with them throughout the delegation.  While we were not able to make it into Mexico, we still had a jam-packed schedule full of a visit to Operation Streamline, a desert walk, impromptu discussions with Border Patrol agents, a homestay, and discussions about immigration history, SB1070, and organizing in their own community.

Read Between the Bars, the books to prisoners collective that Mike and I are a part of had a wonderful fundraiser and celebration, raising over $1,200 which is enough money to send packages of 3 books to over 433 prisoners in Arizona.  Our organization and the event were featured in the local Tucson Weekly paper. This past weekend we had our last book packing party of the summer and had many new wonderful volunteers!

Emily and Catie are doing well.  Emily was accepted into a Master's Program at NYU for Food Studies.  It is perfect for her and I am glad to see her following her heart.  Catie has also decided to go back to school at the University of Memphis where she is from.  And me...well, I am applying for a few things here in Tucson.  But I am going to keep them secret for now, until I find out if I've been accepted or not.

I was going to write more, but this seems to be enough of an update for now.  I'll comment on stuff in greater detail soon!  Oh! I also wanted to share this photo album with everyone. It documents some of my time here on the border.  Enjoy!

Isabel and Mother's Day

Update

While in Pittsburgh, in addition to seeing my family, taking some time off, and enjoying the cool weather, I am visiting with churches and other organizations to share stories about my time on the border.  Yesterday, I went to First Presbyterian Church in Duquesne, located in a town right outside of Pittsburgh.  They are helping to sponsor my year as a YAV.  Duquesne Presbyterian Church, located in the third poorest town in Pennsylvania, has a small but vibrant and diverse community.  

When my family arrived, a group of teenagers were practicing a miming that they are planning to present at a local church next week.  One of the most beautiful and humbling things that I witnessed was a small mission program that the teenagers have set up, called Angel Treats.  They were sitting in youth group one day complaining that they didn't have any money, so someone told them to get a job. When they replied that there weren't any jobs, they came up with the idea to start a chocolate business.  They received a $30,000 Self-Development of People grant to start a business, and it has taken off from there.  

The reason that I call it humbling is this: people so often think of mission as something that you do for other people in other places--we go on mission trips to build houses in Mexico, we go to teach English in another country, we go to spread the word of God, often forgetting about our own local communities and the needs that are close to home.  These wonderful people recognized their own need and a need in their community and ran with it.  

When I applied to do the YAV program, I was originally thinking of going overseas, but then I realized that there was so much need in our own country, that I decided to stay in the United States.  And once I started thinking along those lines, I started wondering if I shouldn't try to find something in Pittsburgh or in Beloit, my local communities.  I ended up deciding to follow my passions to Tucson, and I am glad that I did, but hearing about Angel Treats was a good reminder for me about not forgetting our local needs and the creativity that can be inspired through community.

While at Duquesne, I shared a story in the Minute for Mission time, that I will repost here now:

Isabel and Mother's Day

As yesterday was Mother's Day, there is one related story in particular that i would like to share.In Tucson, the federal government runs a program called Operation Streamline, a zero-tolerance border enforcement proceeding. Every weekday at the federal courthouse, 70 to 80 migrants are tried for entering the U.S. without documents at a place and time not designated by the government. Instead of everyone having an individual case, up to 80 people are tried in the course of 1-3 hours. It is meant as a deterrence program, to keep people from crossing through the desert and although most of the people in the courtroom are first time crossers, there are many people with prior records.

The case takes place in a tiny courtroom, with Border Patrol and U.S. marshals patrolling the aisles.  The migrants sit on the left hand side, scrunched in 9 to a row on uncomfortable wooden benches.  Their hands and feet are shackled, shoe laces and hair bands removed.  Most wear the same clothes that they were found in while in the desert.

There is a row of benches in the courtroom that are reserved for the public, but they usually sit empty. This day, however, a group of  women sits silently, watching the proceedings. They don't speak, or really even move, except to bring a little girl that is with them to the bathroom.

As the proceedings near the end, a woman named Isabel is called to the front.  She wears a bright pink shirt with a pocket on the right breast.  Her arms and feet are shackled, her shoelaces removed, her hair shows the indentation of an absent pony-tail holder. The judge gives her 35 days in detention, and the previously silent women start chatting amongst themselves. As Isabel is led out, she waves at the women, trying to keep a smile on her face. The little girl that is with them looks on.

"Say hi to your mommy" one of the women says in Spanish to the little girl.

"Hi mommy" she says and waves with a smile.

Isabel is ushered into a hallway that leads to her holding cell.  She will be in detention for another month before being deported to Mexico.

Her daughter, who is likely a U.S. citizen, will be without her.

What we talk about as "immigration issues" are peoples lives, peoples stories.  These "issues" have faces.

So, on this Mother's Day, I bring you this story, as a representation of countless mothers who are torn apart from their children, of countless families that are destroyed by failed immigration and foreign economic policies.

As human beings, and especially as people of faith, we are tied up together in a web of humanity, which is so often forgotten and tossed aside, as in the case of Isabel.  So, on this Mothers Day, let us remember Isabel and her family and let us give thanks for our mothers and the women in our lives.

Pure Update

Update

I've been busy in Tucson as of late, so it is nice to be back in Pittsburgh for a week to get some chill time, to see my family, and to share a bit about my time on the border. I've been devoting a lot of time to protests and rallies, as has a lot of the Tucson community.  

There were rallies the whole week before Brewer signed SB1070 into law, attended in large number by self-mobilized youth.  The May Day rally in Tucson drew over 7,000 people in support of various causes: legalization for all, saving public education and ethnic studies, stopping deportation and militarization, stopping border deaths, supporting labor, and most importantly, opposing SB1070.  Tucson religious leaders held a press conference at Southside Presbyterian Church, denouncing the new law as racist, unconstitutional, mean-spirited, and unethical.  

Many are calling for resistance and noncompliance with the law when it comes into effect in (now less than) 90 days.  There have been a few lawsuits brought against this, and the number is growing.  The city councils of Tucson and Flagstaff are planning to sue, a Tucson police officer has filed a case, and a class action law suit has been filed by the National Coalition of Latino Clergy and Christian Leaders.  


And the thing is, SB1070 is just the beginning.  For example, HB2281 attacks ethnic and raza studies, stating that "any course, class, instruction, or material may not be primarily designed for pupils of a particular ethnic group...State aid will be withheld from any school district or charter school that does not comply."  Coming from an area where there is a high latino population, denying the education and importance of latino and ethnic studies seems ludicrous.  One of my friends recently shared a quote with me from John Berger, which seems fitting: "A people or a class which is cut off from its own past is far less free to choose and to act as a people or class than one that has been able to situate itself in history."

In all of this, I was able to take a wonderful one-day camping trip up to Mount Lemmon.  It was amazing to see the shift in climate and plant-life as we drove higher and higher into the mountains.  Spring also brings more gardening.  At BorderLinks, we have all been volunteering out in the garden: weeding, seeding, and having a bunch of fun.  I am sad to say, however, that Nick has left BorderLinks.  It is the right decision for him, but we will miss him dearly!

I am in Pittsburgh during the middle of the University of Michigan delegation that I am helping to lead.  I'm sad to be missing out on sharing experiences with them, but have been able to keep up with everyone using their awesome blog.  They are a part of a wonderful program sponsored through their school called GIEU.

"Breathing While Undocumented"

I just got back from Puerto Penasco in Sonora, Mexico for a YAV retreat.  While it was wonderful and relaxing, I felt a bit bad about leaving just as the opposition to SB1070 is getting strong.  I came back to over 70 unopened emails, half of those about the Senate Bill, opposition, and action steps that we can take.  Looking through articles today, I came across an opinion piece entitled "Breathing While Undocumented."  I'd like to invite everyone to read this article and to do your own research about the Bill and upcoming bills as well.  This is something that can't stand!

SB1070

Update

Yesterday afternoon, I got back from the Crossing Borders: Encountering God conference up in Phoenix.  It was a time filled with talking about our responses to immigration from a faith-based perspective and how we can "encounter God" in all of the complexities of the issues.  People from all over the nation were present at the conference, which added a lot more perspective to the conference.  I feel that so often I get caught up with what is going on only in Tucson and Arizona that I forget that there is a much wider world out there where similar immigration challenges and global politics are taking place.  I was lucky enough to attend workshops on the DREAM Act and the PC(USA) and Immigration.

When we arrived on Thursday we were informed of ICE raids that had taken place in southern Arizona, especially in Tucson.  The raids supposedly targeted shuttle services, but of course also affected everyday people on the street.  What hurt even more about this was that it came on the tail of the new Arizona Senate Bill 1070.

SB1070

Last Tuesday, Arizona lawmakers approved one of the toughest measures in the country against illegal immigrants, which will direct local police to determine whether people are in the country legally.  Senate Bill 1070 makes it a misdemeanor to be in the state of Arizona without proper immigration paperwork, and also requires police to determine immigration status if they have a "reasonable suspicion" that someone is in the state illegally.  What this amounts to is that anyone that looks Hispanic can be pulled over and questioned as to their status.  If someone has an accent and accidently left their wallet at home (which has happened to us all), they could easily be caught up in this law. Sounds like racial profiling, doesn't it?

Many groups have created petitions to send out to representatives and to Gov. Jan Brewer, urging them to veto the bill and to act for real immigration reform.

And this is where it really gets to me.  Where is the national and local discussion about immigration reform? It seems like so many people think that creating stronger enforcement is the way to "fix" the "immigration problem."  But a broken system cannot be fixed by enforcing that broken system!  There needs to be real change, done in a realistic manner.  And there are ideas out there for this.  The DREAM Act, for instance.  Introduced in March of 2009, it would grant temporary legal status for high school graduates who were brought to the United States as undocumented children and who now have a good record in school and the community.  It would allow them 6 years to complete two years of college or two years in the military and after this is complete, to obtain permanent legal residency.  These are people who have grown up in the United States, gone to our schools, played on our sports teams, gone to our churches.  These are people who, for all intents and purposes, are as active and involved "citizens" as you and I.  Yet, they cannot receive loans or public scholarships to attend college, where they can become even more productive members and leaders of our society.

Or what about reviewing and reforming our foreign policy laws, especially those involved with free trade (NAFTA)?  We should be taking into account the affects of subsidies on our own system and especially on Mexico's economy.  Why were they made to take away their subsidies while those in the U.S. increased?

Or think about the history if migration in the Americas.  Contrary to popular belief, American history doesn't start in 1492 when "Columbus sailed the ocean blue."  People in the Americas migrated through the land to visit family, to work crops, to hunt, to celebrate.  And even up to 100 years ago, families were able to cross the border line to visit each other without problems.

For me, SB1070 highlights the inadaquacies of our current immigration legislation and the need to take a realistic and healthy look at how to reform it.  I hope that steps will be taken soon so that Arizona and the rest of the nation can show to the rest of the world our care for other human beings; basically, that we still have some humanity in us.

If you are interested in adding your voice to the thousands who have already spoken up about SB1070, check out these sites:  Tell AZ Governor to Veto Racial Profiling Bill at presente.org, Stop the Madness in Arizona! at action.nclr.org, and Tell Governor Brewer to Stand up for Arizona and Veto SB 1070 at change.org.  Also, write to your legislators about the need for immigration reform and about the importance of the DREAM Act.

Crossing

Update

Let me just say that I am very glad that March is over and that it is April.  I led three delegations of varying lengths and was sick with a bacterial infection for a whole week.  So, I was either on the run or sick in bed for the whole month with no in-between states.  And Grampity, who is a member of Waverly and a very influential man in my life, passed away.  He was one of my conversation partners when I was contemplating participation in the YAV program and we had some lovely talks about alternative ideas of mission.  He will be sorely missed, but his memory lives on in every one of us.  I also found out that my mom is having back surgery in early May.  All of this to say that it was an overwhelming and emotional month!

But April has so far been rejuvenating.  Mike and I have now been together for over a year and are still going strong.  He is enjoying his program called "YAMS": Young Activist Media Squad, filming and editing videos as well as talking about activist opportunities in Tucson.  It is great to see him involved in something that he is passionate about.  There is a new educator at BorderLinks named Rachel, who I've been hanging out with a lot.  She has a wonderful energy and knowledge about issues of sustainability and justice.  We went on two of the March delegations together.  Paul, one of Mike and my good friends from Beloit, visited us for two weeks.  It was wonderful to spend some quality time with him!  We went out into the desert one night and sat under the stars together.  I've decided that it is something that I want to do more often.  The weather is starting to get hot, but still has a nice spring breeze to it.  I miss the midwest in spring, but Tucson has its own nice touch to the season as well.

I had a wonderful celebration of Easter with great people this year.  Emily, Catie, Mike, and I attended Southside Presbyterian Church for the Easter service and then went to brunch with some wonderful women from the church.  One of them was 92 and the coordinator of the Democratic Party in her area as well as a strong member of the League of Women Voters.  I would love to be like her someday (meaning right now).  Then we headed over to a potluck with some wonderful friends, new and old.  The potluck reminded me of the potlucks that we always had at Beloit.  Such wonderful and yummy food!

Sister Lil Mattingly, a Maryknoll sister who has been at BorderLinks for the past for years, leaves tomorrow for New York.  We've been celebrating her time here for the past month or so, but it is so hard to realize that she is actually leaving us.  She has been such an inspiration to me with her stories of work in Bolivia, of her protest of the School of the Americas, of her time on the border.  I can only hope to emulate her energy, enthusiasm, and passion for justice and respect in the world, and her warm and welcoming soul.

Thankfully, April is a slow month, but May will pick up again.  I'm taking this month to catch up on letters, to work on May delegations, to take some time off, and to attend a conference in Phoenix called Crossing Borders: Encountering God.  It should be interesting!

Crossing

A few weeks ago, I stood on U.S. soil next to the border wall dividing Douglas, Arizona from Agua Prieta Sonora.  If I would have been able to move a foot or two forward, I would have been in Mexico. But the wall, made of metal pieces slapped together, kept me on "my" side and "the Mexicans" on their side.  The closest that I was able to get to Mexico was to peek through tiny holes in the metal.  I peered through a few of the openings, noticing the same light brown dirt and dust, plastic trash, and many houses just yards away from the wall.  Without this metal obstacle and the dusty roads on either side of it, it would have been impossible to determine where Mexico ends and the United States begins.  It felt unnatural to be so forcefully divided.

I was down in Mexico leading a delegation from a
University in California.  The wall was the closest that we could get to Mexico because of the University's insurance concerns about going to Agua Prieta and Nogales with the "growing violence" in Mexico, specifically in Ciudad Juarez.  (Which to me is like telling someone in Ohio that they shouldn't go to Illinois because Chicago is dangerous...but don't get me started on that).  But this inability to cross into Mexico brought up some interesting food for thought.  Usually, I would have an easy time crossing into Mexico, but this was not the case.  Is this what it feels like for those people trying to get into the United States, but who can't: annoyance? frustration? anger? resentment?  It was weird to be stuck on one side of this wall that divided this geography that appeared exactly the same.  As I watched people crossing back and forth between Mexico and the United States, my experience was transformed into a fuller understanding of the unnatural and arbitrary divisions that we create.

This was further complicated during one of our dinamicas called the Legal Immigration Simulation, when one of the participants shared that 10 years before, she and her family had crossed through the Douglas/ Agua Prieta area without documents.  She had crossed through the same area in which we were standing, maybe even the same place that I stood as I peered through the border wall.  How strange that she couldn't step foot into the country in which she was born.  How strange that she was now stuck on this U.S. side of the border.  How strange that the closest that she could get was to peek through the openings of the metal barrier, only to see the same dirt, the same dust, the same trees, the same trash.

Little experiences like that hit me everyday.  How strange it is to be down here!

Desert Bread

Update

This past weekend was the start of Lent and we marked it with the YAV Lenten Spirituality Retreat out in Cascabel with the Hermitage Association.  It is run by Daniel, David, and Pearl who live out in the rural community of Cascabel.  The Hermitage Association rents land from the Saguaro Juniper Corporation, a group of associates who hold deeded and leased land in Hot Springs Canyon in southern Arizona.  Their members are environmentally minded, as their covenant to "cherish [the] earth, waters, plants and animals in a way that promotes the health, stability, and diversity of the whole community," demonstrates.  The Hermitage Association rents out a large parcel of land for solitary meditations and desert sojourns.

Desert Bread

Before we started our desert sojourns, we stayed at the base camp, which included a tent ramada, fire pit, composting toilet, outdoor shower, windmill, and a beautiful stream.  Our host was a humble and interesting man named Daniel who has been living out in Cascabel for over 15 years.  He is a self described hermit who enjoys solitude and being in the elements of nature.  He always wears these worn black converses and a sun-stained felt cowboy hat.  After one night in base camp (in which we celebrated Catie's birthday with some Cascabel neighbors) we went our separate ways to being our sojourns.

I stayed in the strawbale hermitage, which was about a mile and a half drive away from camp.  Daniel and I drove up and down the dirt "roads" in his tiny old Toyota, all the while talking about difficulties and joys of my year, BorderLinks, and my expectations for the sojourn.  And to tell the truth, I wasn't sure what to expect.  I had never been so far away from another person.  I had never spent a night in the desert by myself.  I had never had to make do with so little rations that I packed myself.  I had never been given this much time to sit with myself and my thoughts.

Daniel pulled up in front of the strawbale, with a large saguaro cactus standing guard, and checked to make sure that there was enough water, that the bed had sheets on it, that I knew where the toilet was and that I understood the sign changes (that I did every night so that they could know that I was okay).  He checked in with me one last time (which I will talk about a bit later) and then left.  And, after about five minutes when his Toyota crested over the hill, I was alone. 

I surprisingly found myself breathing easy and excited for the time.  I laid a blanket out and the ground and just sat, taking in the sun's warmth and the wind on my body.  I listened to the breeze blow through the ocotillos.  I counted the birds (and the airplanes).  I napped.  I hiked.  I wrote.  I didn't try too hard.  And at the end of two days, it was as if no time had passed at all.  Before we left, we were asked to write a reflection or summary on our sojourn experience, and this is what I had to say:

Before he left, Daniel handed me a piece of desert bread [made purely from desert plants] and said something along the lines of "the desert is all around you, and now it is in you."  That has been a bit of guiding light for me during my time here.  It echoes of embodiment and of communion.

And I have felt in communion with nature and with myself out here.  I went on walks in the washes, finding footprints of bobcats, horses, javelinas, and other animals on journeys of their own.  I've found spider webs glistening on the ground, waiting for a fly to be caught.  I've startled a flock of quail, only to wait around and see and hear them return to each other.  I've even had a little fly friend with me who always seemed to want attention.

But more than the animals, it has been the elements--the sun and wind-- that I have connected with.  I decided even before coming out here that I wanted to be unclothed as much as possible, so that's what I did.  I spent hours at a time sitting and standing naked under the sun, my whole body able to feel the warmth of the sun's rays and the cool hug of the wind.  I have always had this image of peacefulness (and of the Holy Spirit) as wind-- that flows through everything.  At one point, I was standing there in prayer and the wind blew in this wave all around me, lifting my hair up and enveloping me.

I slept outside both nights here, under the stars.  I had a wonderful view of Orion as I went to sleep and when I would wake up (as I did numerous times both nights, to shift and then return to sleep) other starts appeared, taking his place.  I love being under the stars--it reminds me of how tiny I am in this infinite unknown.  I saw two shooting stars each night and let my soul do the wishing.  I don't know what it wished for, but I trust it.

I found some creative space as well, which I haven't had in awhile.  I made two new collages, each inspired in its own way by my time out here.  I am thinking of turning them into cards! I also took time and sat in front of the saguaro and sketched it out and colored.  The saguaro has seemed like a guardian for me during my time here I wanted to remember that image.  I've written a lot, something that I've been missing out on recently.  Since high school, I've kept a journal, but there have always been dry seasons with it, and during those times, I feel least connected to myself.  Having the space and time to write has helped me to reconnect.

I'm not leaving with any questions answered or with any big amazing ideas, but I am leaving more at peace with myself.  Out here, I was reminded of an important piece of advice from a mentor: Be Open.  As long as I stay open and aware and continue my journey, I know that I will be okay.

Thank you for this opportunity.  I hope to return here again to this beautiful place.

Ciudad Juarez

Update

It's been a busy past couple of weeks down in Tucson.  It took me awhile to regroup from my delegation, through a lot of rest, catching up on tv shows, and downtime.  We celebrated Emily's birthday with a picnic in the nearby park (where I got this awesome chicken riding a bike tattoo!), I attended the annual meeting for Catie's CHRPA site, went to a presentation about women in Ciudad Juarez, was horribly sick on Valentine's Day weekend, missed a delegation, and just returned from a desert sojourn in Cascabel where we celebrated Catie's birthday.

Ciudad Juarez

The presentation on Ciudad Juarez was organized by a local organization called Tierra y Libertad, who brought in speakers from the Mexico Solidarity Network which is based in Chicago.

It started with talk about an Arizona bill called HB 2008 that was passed into law this past November by Arizona governor Jan Brewer.  The Bill requires DES to verify the legal status of all people who go to collect benefits (specifically food stamps), even if their children are U.S. citizens.  In a state like Arizona, this is big news because there are many U.S. citizen children whose fathers or mothers have been deported and going for food stamps is a last resort.  And while the law doesn't eliminate the eligibility for services, it could cause a caseworker to report on a parent if they find out about their undocumented status, even in a casual conversation.  This penalizes the children in so many ways.

The speakers from the Mexico Solidarity Network talked about the femicides that have occurred in Juarez and some of the causes and implications of the violence.  There was a lot of talk about NAFTA and free trade.  One of the most important points that the speaker brought up was that "people are always ready for economic capital, but not human capital."  The implementation of NAFTA caused a huge influx of migration in that huge factories called maquiladoras increased in number in the border areas and demanded more and more workers.  But, while the companies were ready for the work, they were not ready for the people and all of the social services and support that would be needed.

The talk ended with the reminder that we can't just leave the course of the world up to just our governments, but that we have to organize from the community, and we have to "globalize solidarity". 

It was an interesting talk, although a bit generalized (and I feel like my translations would have been a bit better!).  It reminded me of my time in El Paso and Juarez at Annunciation House a few years ago, where we learned about the femicides and visited the graves of women who had been killed.

Tomorrow, I head to a lecture at the University of Arizona called "In the Eye of the Storm: Ciudad Juarez, Violence and a Failed Drug Policy," which will hopefully go into more depth on some current issues.

Staying Grounded in Community

Update

As seems to happen, it's been about a month since I last wrote.  And a lot has happened during that time!  I led a 13-day delegation in Agua Prieta and Tucson (which I will be writing about next), celebrated my birthday in some fabulous ways, took some comp time to reboot, and caught up with the goings-on in Tucson.  For my birthday, I had a wonderful day off with Mike filled with breakfast in bed, lots of sleep, movie watching, and relaxation.  Then I went to another Read Between the Bars meeting and had wonderful pizza with some awesome people.  And to end the day, my fellow BLXers threw me a party complete with fudge as my cake, enchiladas, sangria, games, and laughing.  I must say, it was one of my best birthdays yet.

And through it all, I've been incredibly people-sick.  (That's a word, right?  Like homesick for people.  Well, it is now.)  Every other day or so, Mike or I will comment on the fact that we miss our friends and their energy, the comfort of familiarity, and their love.  But I have begun to realize that I can still have all of those wonderful things, it is just a matter of staying in touch and of reaching out.  For example, while my last delegation was wonderful, I was incredibly stressed out and frustrated at points.  Out of nowhere, I received phone calls, text messages, emails, Facebook messages, and letters from friends and family in Pittsburgh and Beloit.  It was as if I was sending out an S.O.S. to people and they were responding!  (So, in the future, my powers of telepathy probably won't always work, but you get the idea.)

And then, with the passing of my birthday, where I was able to catch up with people and receive many birthday wishes (many through the power of Facebook), and through an email asking for a mid-term review of my YAV year, I remembered the most important thing that I need: to stay grounded in community.

Staying Grounded in Community

"Who is your community (the people with whom you share your life as a YAV)?"  This is the first question on the mid-year evaluation for the Young Adult Volunteer program.  When I first read the question, I paused for a second.  I'd been feeling people-sick, like I said, and this didn't put me in the greatest mood to answer the question.  But, somehow getting past that, I realized that I have a large community that I learn from everyday and that is involved in amazing things!


In my life as a YAV, my primary community is the other YAVs, Emily and Catie, who are doing amazing work at their sites.  Emily is the School Garden Coordinator for the Community Food Bank's Food Security Center, and she absolutely loves it! She gets to work outside in the garden most days, using her hands to work the soil, and seeing the results of her work in the beautiful veggies and plants that grow.  She also gets to work with children and use her organizational skills to get things done.

Catie is a volunteer at Community Home Repair Projects of Arizona (or CHRPA for short).  She does various kinds of home repair for low-income families in and around Tucson.  As she says, "The SOOPers are here and it is a true joy to have them around. SOOP stands for Service Oppertunies for Older Persons. Work has been full of furnace work and toilet replacements, which I'm proud to say is what I'm doing alot of these days."  She continually comes home with paint, plaster, and who knows what, covering her clothes.  I have learned a lot from Catie and Emily about gardening and home repair and have found wonderful conversation partners in the two of them.

But that is not all of my community.  I have Mike, who is currently an AmeriCorps with Every Voice in Action Foundation, serving as a media facilitator with youth.  He has already helped out with a couple of youth videos and is just getting started on a series of poetry slam events in Tucson.  He's been able to connect with some great people in Tucson.

And then I have my wonderful BorderLinks community, who I learn from everyday and share the joys and sorrows of this job.  Everyone is coming from such different places with different interests and intentions, but we form a community of support and solidarity.

And I have the wonderful Read Between the Bars group that I was lucky enough to stumble upon one of my first weeks here.  Not only have I been able to connect the work with this group to my time at Beloit, but it has allowed me to connect to an outside community working for justice.  But my community extends even further.

And, this is the part that connects back to those Facebook birthday wishes: I realize now that even though people may be thousands of miles away, they are still a part of my community.  Hearing about Hannah's work at the hospital, conducting bi-lingual interviews and saving up money to go travel the world, or about Nate's adventure first as a Chinese delivery boy and now as a visitor to a monastery lifts my spirits.  Getting updates about Anna's end of service up in Moab, her future plans to work in Venezuela or Mexico, and rejoining the Beloit Community Choir, or about Laura's amazing work on her feminist blog and her job at the bookstore keeps me open and interested.  Hearing about the continued work of the Peace and Justice Club at Beloit, about the mission work at Waverly, about the individual lives and stories of everyone that I have ever come into contact with, connects me back, it grounds me.

In reality, I've written all of this to say that I find myself in the company of some amazing people.  Getting updates from everyone, hearing about people lives and the awesome things that they are doing (however small they may seem) reminds me how lucky I am to have the life that I have.  Thank you to everyone for sharing it with me!

(And by the way, I love snail mail!)

Violence

Update

I just finished my first week back in Tucson after spending the holidays with family in Pittsburgh.  It was nice to be back home.  I got to hang out with my sisters a bit, make our traditional Christmas breakfast, catch up with my wonderful Waverly family, and see snow!  We had a lazy Christmas, not waking up until late and then spending time with our g-pa.  I got to catch up with some old friends and meet some new ones.  At the New Year's party that I attended, there was a potbellied pig as well as some amazing family friends.  The Sunday before I left, I got to share my experiences as a Tucson YAV and as a BorderLinks educator at Waverly and left feeling supported and uplifted by the questions, concerns, and interest in my time here.  But, I am glad to be back, although a bit anxious.

Violence

Nogales, Sonora, Mexico, where the BorderLinks Mexico office is located has been experiencing increased violence recently which has affected our ability to bring groups down to visit.   Because their trafficking has been disrupted by additional police forces, the cartel members in Nogales are now resorting to kidnapping for ransom and harassment of small businesses.  This hasn't been making the news in the United States for the most part, but I have heard many first hand accounts from colleagues in Nogales about the sudden upsurge.

Last week, I sat across the table from Jeanette, Cecilia, Marycruz, and Manuel as they talked about the ways in which the violence has personally affected their families, friends, and neighbors.  Each is connected to someone who has either been kidnapped, robbed, or harrassed in the past weeks.  Ceci had tears in her eyes from the pain of the experiences.  Sitting across from these people who I admire so much, I felt humbled and helpless.   What could I do?  I have the priviledge of not living in that situation.  I can sit at this computer right now and be almost positive that I don't have to worry about a stray bullet coming through the window or about my sisters being kidnapped.  That is not a privilege that my collegues have.  And that is hard to deal with.  For now, I am there for them, listening to their stories, leaving the space for talking and for silence.  I give hugs and share laughter. 

What more can I do?  I guess this is partly why I came to BorderLinks.  I can educate.  I can talk with delegations, friends, and family about the ways in which our decisions and choices affect what is going on in our communities near and far.  For example, all of the drug cartels smuggle large amounts of marijuana, cocaine and other drugs into the United States.  Guess why?  Because there is the demand here.  And I hate to say it, but a lot of the demand comes from small "progressive" liberal arts colleges like...Beloit.  I know so many people who smoke pot recreationally without giving a second thought to where it comes from, who got it to them, and how it may be affecting the larger system.  What if our demand dropped?  What if we started looking at how what we do, how we act, and how the decisions we make affected others?

There would still be problems in the world, no doubt, but I also think that society would be a lot more accepting, open, and self reflective.

Please keep the city of Nogales, the country of Mexico, and everywhere in the world where violence, hatred, greed, and anger are present, in your thoughts this day and all days.